On Acceptance and Having a Mini Meditation Coach
My sons and I began walking the neighborhood after dinner as summer loosened its sweaty grip on the weather. The neighbors are out with their dogs, who strain on their leashes to say “hi” to my boys even from across the street. The dry leaves crunch on the sidewalk. Everything is still toasted but the sun is going down earlier, giving us a chance to arrive home without being drenched and tired.
And my youngest son recently started a new hobby: watching cars go by. As we drive, he will turn around and watch the car we just passed head out of view. Sometimes we have to stop and watch a car pass before heading into a store, and on our evening walk, we’ll have to stop at the busier street when our route swings close. We count the cars, consider whether they’re big or small, and maybe note the colors. Then we say goodbye so we can continue.
It’s never enough.
My son’s neck stretches as we start our journey again. He will begin to walk backward as we leave the bigger street, holding my hand and awkwardly tugging my shoulder as we trudge along. And we are trudging, going less than two miles an hour down the sidewalk.
My oldest is happy to indulge in his favorite pastime at this point and think about video games. He hums quiet tunes that I recognize in their jinglier forms, and he’ll ask tell-tale questions about my favorite Paper Mario partner after a few minutes of silence. I sometimes ask my oldest if he’d like to head home early. However, if little brother walks a mile, he’s got to walk that mile, too.[1]
That leaves me shuffling up the sidewalk at a snail’s pace. Not that I’m a speed walker, but one would like to get a bit of exercise, maybe startle the front yard rabbits that don’t bother to move as we creep by. I wasn’t content on the first few walks. But then, the contents of my head weren’t fun. I let my mind travel back home to the laundry, to feeding the cat, to the other things I would have to do before hitting my pillow that night.
Eventually, I realized that I lived with a mini meditation coach. Available every day, expensive but worth it, he forces me to live in the present and look around for at least forty minutes. My acceptance of the situation allows me to stop trying to control it, and with that freed energy I can appreciate the weather and the sky. I can focus on my breath. I can be thankful for my quirky children.[2]
It’s never a bad time to practice acceptance and consider slowing down. As Fall begins and Winter approaches, it’s worth remembering that many of us will get swept up in events and traditions that mark the end of the year. Embracing acceptance now may help cope with the stressors that come with all change, even positive change. I don’t have all the control, and that’s a good thing. I can let go and enjoy my surroundings, and things will still get done.
And if I forget to feed the cat, she’ll let me know.
Stephanie Barca is a Masters-Level therapist practicing with Benjamin Holmes Counseling. She is currently accepting new clients.
[1] We have so many “shoulds” in our house despite Albert Ellis’ excellent advice not to should on yourself. [2] My oldest gave me a look when he read that. Then he shrugged.